2010

2009 has been a different year from the past. having the thought that i am already 20 next year feels really old. i feel that i haven't know enough about the world now as i should have this age. anyw, whatever past has passed. whatever that is coming feels scary.  yes, i am still the scary cat i know deep down, ever since preschool. i still remember the feelings that i had when i was still in PAP. only FF knows how i feel about it. even tho i never intend to tell anyone about the loser that i am deep deep down. thanks. he's understanding i know and he taught me a lot. i love him. yes. but the one thing i h8 most is our different opinion in f/s. we often fight about it. very much big quarrels. i never knew why but now i do.

god is nice to me. he knows where my imperfections are and he protects it. he always send GA to my side when i am at the most down point of my life. whenever i think about it, i feel blessed. i have realized this long time ago and am grateful to those who are by my side always. but i cannot please everyone of them. i always tell myself i should start to learn to be independent and social around more but i just couldn't do it. this is me. thus, my new year resolution is ** be **** ********. asterisk is becus im too embarrassed to say it out.

i felt this warmth around me when im at work. they are those that i haven't met before. i mean in character. sigh. shall not say more becus u won't feel it even if i said it out. the more we grow older, the more we realizes what's happening around us. the more we know, the more we are upset about.